I will always remember this recording: 1938 in Sweden. The first female voice had just finished reading the news in the radio and the phone line of Radio Service was congested with angry people. A woman should not read news! This is outrageous! A woman is not capable of reading the news! Let men read the news! Can you guess the sex of almost half of those furious people? You are right, they were women.

Almost 80 years later one can still conclude that the main obstacle to why women don’t have equal rights with men is the same. It is a faulty assumption to expect equal treatment from men whilst women, who outnumber men in the world, continue discriminating other women. To say that the world is man-tilted is to focus on the wrong end of the same problem. Where do these men grow up? Most of them surely have mothers. Do you believe that the way mothers raise their children has no influence over how their sons and daughters treat women? Think again.

“Girls do not need math,” said my female math teacher to all the pupils in my class when I started in high school. “The new head of unit X is Mr Y”, announces a female manager who has several much more competent women in her team than Mr Y. “What did you cook for your husband today?” my mother keeps asking even though she knows that we take turns and I dislike this question. “Let him do it”, my female colleague points at a male colleague when I ask her to make a presentation on a topic she is the best expert in.

Expecting men to do what women should do themselves is holding “the weaker sex” back from boards, political posts, equal pay, it keeps them being treated as a property, raped, circumcised and objectized. I have for a long time been disturbed by the way women let themselves to be exploited in the music industry, either due to their ignorance, limited understanding or complacency. Would you like to look like a hooker, walk with nipples and clitoris almost revealed and spend most of your time hurling your hips? Well, in music industry you do regardless of whether you say you are a feminist (Beyonce, Zara Larsson, etc) or not. And the male star of the same caliber is, as a rule carefully wrapped in, no penis in sight. As a male singer, you do not have to pretend on the stage that you are on the verge of an orgasm.  Madonna, Rihanna, Kylie, Mariah Carey etc, etc do – the list is endless and the quality of the voice plays no role whatsoever. Of course, there are some rebels – Sia, Adele to name a few – but those are exceptions.  In the oversexualised pop music world, full of nauseating stereotypes, there is no equality between the two sexes. Poor teenagers who consume music not only by listening but watching – their role models provide them with images of gender equality which date back to the middle ages!

Why do women let so reluctantly go of habits and traditions which are not in their interest? Why do we lack solidarity? I guess the things that once upon the time gave us an evolutional advantage do not work so well during the smartphone and social media era. Being constantly pregnant during the fertile age is not anymore necessary in most of the developed world where infant mortality is extremely low. The biological relics which we have inherited from our ancestors don’t fit into birth-controlled societies where time can be spent on issues much higher up in the Maslow pyramid than ensuring survival. But the biological evolution has not had the time to adjust to the necessities of the modern society. Girls and boys can reproduce at a very young age. Today there is no advantage in carrying a child as a child. It only adds to the misery of young girls in the countries where they are forced into marriages at an early age. Mind you, forced by mothers as much as fathers.

Remember the moral code 100 years ago in Europe, still potent in some countries? It was a disaster to lose virginity and become pregnant before one got married. There were not many options – some committed suicide, some tried to get rid of the baby. Some died in the hands of incompetent midwives or due to complications after the abortion. Some kept the baby and endured psychological and sometimes even physical terror from the local community. Single women with children were ridiculed, their parents were ashamed, sometimes they openly banished their daughters. But there was one particular group of opinion leaders which invariably exercised their power to augment the suffering and humiliation of the poor “girl with a child” –  old ladies in the community.

Yes, for centuries women have been living in a patriarchal world where their primary meaning of life has been to attract a more or less intelligent and potent partner and become his property, produce many children, raise them and take care of the household. But these times are over although we ourselves are not over them. Collaborating is not easy when you regard other women as competitors who need to be neutralised. Research has proven that women judge other women harsher and find faults that they never see in men. Sorry if you are an exception. I am not. My brains are too washed and I discover myself discriminating when I least expect it (perhaps even now…).

Take Hillary Clinton versus Donald Trump. I don’t know what was going on in the heads of the women who voted for Trump. I guess it is best not to know. But it would be an interesting experiment to analyse the latest US presidential election from the gender perspective.  At least one thing is sure – Hillary was discriminated by both men and women when they judged her capabilities, looks, temper, voice, conduct, experience and intelligence to be inferior to Trump’s. Otherwise the outcome of the presidential election had been different.

I don’t really agree with the definition of man-made norms. Every time the norms that discriminate women have been in the making – women have contributed to them either passively or actively. It is a well-known fact that in the developed world women are more educated than men. With educational enlightenment comes also the responsibility to make use of one’s knowledge. After all, it is not the strongest that survive but the smartest.

Women have greater possibilities than ever before but we are still clinging to values with make us our own biggest enemy. The day we stop doing this, the world will become a much better place. Until then…. well, it is what it is…

I will continue the topic of gender equality in my next blog, this time from the yoga and energy angle, stay tuned!

Kairi

 

This Article is now also available in Axelsons Friskvårdsmagasinet – online magazine

It all began when I started to look for a course to deepen my knowledge in anatomy and/or chemistry and widen my perspectives in teaching yoga. Every course that came close to this wish would have meant full time studies with much more in the list and this was not an option. One day, thanks to a Facebook post by a friend, I found a course organised by Axelssons Institute. Yogamassage, very interesting, I thought. What is this? When I read the course description, I knew that this was it! Ayurvedic yoga massage. A technique which works with breath, stretching and warming up the muscle tissue at the same time. A technique which combines ancient knowledge of yoga and Ayurveda and contemporary knowledge of the human body. From a master who has learnt from the Master.

Kusum Modak, the creator of this yogamassage technique, has been the pupil of one of the greatest yoga masters – B.K Iyengar. I am not a very big guru idolizer (guru means remover of darkness in Sanskrit but not all gurus remove darkness, quite the contrary) but Iyengar is a real guru who has inspired and helped many people. Iyengar proved his teacher was wrong when he initially underestimated the undernourished and sickly boy who later became an international phenomenon.

Iyengar yoga is known for using props and this, among many other things that I like about Iyengar yoga, really resonates with me – if the body cannot do an advanced pose, use a prop for alignment – put a block under your hand or use a blanket where appropriate. Because each time we go over the limit, the body will compensate somewhere even if your mind does not realize it there and then. The more we go over the limit, the more compensating patterns develop. The aim of Iyengar yoga is to balance, not to tip the balance.

I have been enjoying every single moment of this yogamassage course. Half a year and 190 hours of theory and practice behind me, after about ca 50 yoga massage treatments to different people, I have learnt more about the human body than I ever could if I had read anatomy from books. I am awed by the humbleness of the teachers and and have deepest respect for Vandana whose wisdom and mastery of yogamassage technique is extraordinary.

Yogamassage, unlike ayurvedic massage in general, is not very widely known and popularized in the world. In Sweden there are around 200 yogamassage therapists. I will not join their ranks as I had another ambition level with the course. But the tools we acquired are really powerful. What’s more, if you think about how the body works, yogamassage principles make a lot of sense:

• Always massage/treat the whole body. Tensions create chain reactions and travel from one place to another. Focusing only on the problem area is not effective, we may get away from the root cause not close to it.
• Sometimes it is not possible to find the origin to a tension/pain but when the whole body is treated, the relief will still come.
• Combining breathing with massage and stretches gives a miraculous effect – each time we exhale, the body relaxes and exhaling in the right moment (yogamassage therapist knows and instructs when) can induce the effect of a stretch.
• Working with physical body will have a tremendous impact on the mental body. Some people get emotional, some people confused, some experience great relaxation. Nobody remains indifferent. The best way to find balance if tipped for whatever reason is to accept.
• Using also feet for massaging (we do not put full weight on the person but distribute it by leaning on a chair) is extremely good way to give a deeper massage and stimulate the blood circulation and connective tissue – works wonders with athletes and everyone else who does not have a high blood pressure or other contraindications
• Most yogamassage stretches are unlike any other stretches you may have experienced with other massage techniques. At first I was surprised and curious. After testing them out I was amazed.
• How often do you have your stomach massaged, intercostal muscles stretched and your diaphragm stimulated during a massage treatment? Well, in yogamassage you do. Has a wonderful effect on anyone, helps with stomach problems which can range from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) to breathing issues.

This course has also been a journey of my personal growth. I certainly have developed a different and more qualitative relationship to human body including my own. I notice tensions and compensation patterns in people that I was not aware of before. I have also become much better in receiving treatments.

For control freaks this is the most difficult thing – to be able to let go. But when you receive a massage treatment from someone, reciprocal relationship is required. The person who is treating has to give and the person who is treated has to receive. Being able to let go when receiving will multiply the effect of the treatment. Reading the body and adjusting the treatment and stretches to each individual will increase the value of giving. But those skills – listening, relaxing, trusting, giving and receiving require practicing.

One thing is sure though – if one can relax on the mattress (a special mattress, not a massage table), one can also apply those skills in other circumstances. Like everything in the human body is interconnected so is everything we do, think and say. Learning and giving yogamassage has proven once again how true this is. Thank you, Vandana-Johan and course teammates for an experience I will never forget!

Kairi