This has been a journey back to myself
I like what I see, feel and think
I like myself
I have needed some time to come to this conclusion. Again.
I really do enjoy silence inside of me
and it really is calm right now
like on a cold day in a white forest
where everything is frozen
and snowflakes quietly fall from the sky
in countless shapes and sizes.
I do what I plan so I need to be careful with what I wish
but I now have answers to the questions I missed to ask lately
I do not need to revenge on anyone
I need to forgive.
This time it is not me who’s the messenger,
it will be circumstances brought upon us by our thoughts and actions, our choices and decisions which we need to be aware of
either in the mind or heart of preferably both.
I just opened one door
and was invited inside
like in a fairy-tale where less is more.
Instead of running around like a madman and
trying out doors in different shapes and sizes I just knocked on one.
And then my heart told me to stop searching.
Which my head has had difficulties to acknowledge.
Like my self-value, my goodness and kindness,
like all the positive things that make me who I am.
I wanted to look past them and only see my troubles.
But realised soon that life without gratitude
is like stale water –
yes, it clenches the thirst but does not taste good.
So I went to find the well inside of me containing spring water.
And as soon as I forgave, as soon as I started to love and respect myself again, I embarked on a journey which took me after several ups and downs finally there.
Pure water tastes so good, far better than any other liquid.
The only thing is that one cannot stay by the well for long,
like a traveler I need to keep going,
but I know that there are more wells to be found,
the universe inside of me is as vast and limitless as the one surrounding the Earth.
I just need to visit it more often.
And treat myself with respect, gratitude and love.
Only then I can treat others with the same qualities.
I needed a reminder to dig deeper.
I am so happy I did.
I like what I see, feel and think.
I like my inner universe.
I know there’s the dark matter
but it is part of me,
hiding together with my deepest fears.
But once I cast some light onto those murky corners
I realised that the things hiding in the shadows
are scary but not too scary when I accept myself with my light and dark side,
with my matter and antimatter,
with my gravity and antigravity,
with my positive and negative electrons,
with all the cells and neurons and atoms which are part of me.
Sometimes feeling and knowing can be one and the same thing.
When this happens, I have an insight
into the mystery of life and the secret of living.